Freytag's Pyramid

     When I come to think about how I dealt with my four months of vacation, I knew that very moment that I had enough.  Back then, I didn’t expect that I would miss school and those moments I had with my high school friends.  And when I heard that their venture towards college had begun, a part of me envied them. There was this feeling of excitement when I thought about how my first year of being a college would be like. But then again, I couldn’t escape the fact that there was also a part of me that was scared in diving into the deep depths of college.

     First year, first ever semester, so this is what happens in college and this is what it feels like to be in college.  I figured out that a dramatic structure (a.k.a Freytag's Pyramid) would fit to describe what series of events happened during my first experience being a college student. In this structure, which is a pyramid, actually consists of five major parts. These are known as the exposition, the rising action, the climax, the falling action and the denouement. I think most of us learned this when we were high school so I would assume that you get the idea on how this is related to being a first year college student.

     The exposition for my first semester as a freshman would be the part where in there were orientations, get-to-know activities and especially when the professors of most subjects weren’t around to start the discussion immediately.  Next is the rising action which probably I’d say that this part belonged to the start of the serious discussions and then the following first long exams. Then the climax would be the parts wherein we start to get busy as a bee in making our outputs, projects, assignments, reports and quizzes. And here comes the falling action which is the part where we’ll take our final exams and pass the assigned paperwork and outputs.  The denouement would be the part where we get our grades and figure out how was our performance during the first semester of our lives.

     From what I had experienced as of today, I can really say that college is full of thorns but there is always that flower that awaits you when you finished crossing those prickles. Pressure, deadlines, and studies are real things we can’t escape from. But what matters most is how you handle things in a proficient and responsible way without getting pushed through at the end by these tasks. Even if we’re still at 12.5 % in graduating or finishing college I can say that we haven’t even started the real thing or the real nightmare I would presume. But still, we have to face this with our heads up high and learn that we should never give up and that we should try and try until we die, I mean succeed.  

First Love Dies

What is the story of your first love? It’s an awkward question for every person or for those who had his or her first love with an unhappy memory behind it. I can say that majority had dealt with this unrequited love and had become quite a martyr when it comes to love. Our memory of our first love is undeniably a painful one when one tries to unravel the past.

     First love memory is a heartrending one because we didn't end up being together with that special someone. I had also been a target of one of Cupid’s arrow. I was still a freshman back then when we this role play thing. Our group decided to act out the Love Story song by Taylor Swift and I was chosen to be the girl in the story. I really didn't like the idea of me being the protagonist together with him being my partner.

     There was this part on our act where he knelt and inserted the ring in my finger and I can even remember today how awkward it was that I felt my cheeks burned that moment.  It was followed by the screaming of my classmates because they were fluttered by that gesture he made which was part of our script. From then on our classmates would always tease us. But that time I didn't fell in love with him in spite of all those tease and things my friends told me.

     I thought that I wouldn’t be hit by Cupid’s arrow and that I would be able to defend my heart from it. But I guess I was wrong and by the end of the school year, whenever I see him my heart started to beat fast and I couldn't look at him directly. My feelings continued when we were already sophomores. I always had this thought in mind that whenever one likes somebody, he or she won’t be liked back. And yet, a miracle did happen.

     It was during our intramurals and there was this sound box booth wherein you can request any song. I heard the DJ said that this song was dedicated to Miss Jarah Lucena. Yes that’s me and I was surprised and what was more surprising is that when I heard the song Love Story by Taylor Swift started playing. I had never forgotten how my heart raced that time and how my friends came to me rushing and teasing me. It was then I discovered that he was the one who requested.

     That was one of the happiest moment of my life and I felt like it was a dream come true which every girl had dreamed of. But then sadly, there was this agonizing event that happened which made him fall out of it. I just don’t want to talk about the whole heartbreaking thing that destroyed it. But then I couldn’t forget the moment how it ended and it was when someone texted me on the night before our periodical test, that he don’t like me anymore. Seriously, when I read the text message, my tears were falling and it was uncontrollable.

     See, that love was like a flower. It was a fragile flower that suddenly bloomed out of nowhere. That flower lived shortly being unable to completely feel the warmth of the sun. By the end of every love story, that flower just withers unexpectedly and you just can’t revive it even if you want to. Sometimes, loving a person leaves a scar on your heart but your heart can’t choose someone to love. It just hits you unexpectedly but even if you’ll get hurt you can’t deny the fact that you’ll be able to love again. 

Testophobia

     Testophobia is a physiological condition in which people experience extreme stress, anxiety, and discomfort during and/or before taking a test. Students, like me, are most likely afraid from failing a test in any subjects. I easily feel the pressure on my nerves and the stress when I think about the upcoming tests. Also, whenever there is a test I tend to have an abnormal heart rate because it keeps on beating faster than usual. And then my hand starts to feel chilly and my insides turn upside down.  What worries me even more are results and what if my best wasn't good enough.

       First on the list, I worry and fear if my scores are going to be low or low when the answer sheets are being or will be handed out. I think it is a norm for everybody to worry about those scores because it is a part of our grades. Tests in college are more worrisome because there aren’t a lot of chances where in you can pull your scores higher. As a matter of fact, you really need to burn the candle at both ends for you to pass that certain subject. As a result bags under the eyes and dark circles would be visible and evident.

     And second, the thing I’m frightened of is my grades especially if it’s low or it would be low. Low test results can trigger low grades in the end, so I often think about it as a bitter end and bitter start for my first ever semester. And then it keeps on swirling on my mind how would my parents react if I had those low grades and probably they would be disappointed. One thing I hate is that when my parents starts a sermon about me not giving my best shot to achieve higher. I just can’t stand the fact that there is a pool of expectations and it’s drowning me.

     Whatever the results maybe, a lot of my classmates often say that there is always a next time and that those scores won’t determine our future. Yes those are indeed true and it motivates me to move on. Even if you fail once or several times you just can’t give up and think that you’re hopeless or you won’t be able to make it. Chances are given for you to give it a try again even if you’ll end up falling you just have to show your efforts and stand up once again. I think I just definitely have to think positively given that I always give my best whenever there are exams. But then I just can’t overcome this anxiety today but soon enough, hopefully, I can get rid of the worries I feel whenever there are exams even if it’s written or true to life tests. 

During Her Red Days

    

     I would say that one irritating ordeal that a girl would face is having her period. People in her environment would probably be affected by these days for some reasons. Moreover she tends to act differently during those days and it makes people wonder why. For me it is norm if she’d be more or likely weird. I would like to reveal what we experience during these days and how it basically makes it annoying.

     When we undergo through these days we tend to have this mood swings often. Typically we girls do often justify having bad mood due to this event. Also, here comes the zit that pops up during this occasion. I can’t even explain why we crave for food during these days but yes we certainly eat more than usual but not that extreme though. Moreover, we feel so uncomfortable and unclean and like we just want to go home and take a shower or something. And one more thing that makes it more irritating and more embarrassing is that when you can’t predict when that unlucky day is and then your friend suddenly tells you there is that red roundish mark behind you and you haven’t even prepared for it.

                                                               

     Sometimes we girls during these days suddenly share the same opinion on why do boys don’t experience the same amount of pain like we do. I and my friends think it’s a bit unfair because we experience pain twice and they get to experience pain once. For us twice because we feel painful cramps that we call dysmenorrhea and the pain that girls experience when giving birth. I say once only for the boys because they only undergo circumcision.  I myself admit that we girls do have some weird ideas and topics during our period.

     Dealing with this cycle we experience, for us girls it just became natural. But even if it’s irritating most of the times we just tend to endure things because it’s just a week. Being grateful those people who understood enough, especially your girl friends who can also relate, is probably one task a girl should properly do.  All these habits we carry out during these days are just normal and I think we shouldn't be ashamed because of it. Instead, you just have to accept and embrace it because the one who frowns loses. 

When The Candles Are Lit

     What comes to your mind when November starts? The start of November is all about that All Saints Day and All Soul’s Day. But often times, people usually associate November as visiting of people in the graveyards. Indeed the second day of November is somewhat the highlight of November because majority of the people would visit the people whom they love who had their rest already. In these cemeteries we can observe people buying flowers and candles for the dead and even renew the paint of the place where their loved ones are buried.

      I wanted to go to our province. Usually my family and I went there during ‘All Souls Day” to visit the cemetery. But this year only my parents were able to go because my sister and I had something to do like homework. So they went there and when they came back they told us that my lolo had a small accident upon riding a speedy motorcycle when he was on his way back home from the cemetery. And they also said they cooked humba, fried fish, and biko there.

     Shortly after, we visited the cemetery where my great grandparents of my father’s side were buried. When we entered the cemetery, as expected, there were crowds of people that made it difficult for us to get through. I can see bright shining candles everywhere and families in front of the graves of their loved ones were praying fervently. Some were even talking to the grave as if the ones who were buried were listening to them. When I lighted the candles to make it stand in the grave of my great grandparents and our relatives, I felt the sincerity of the people we passed by a while ago. And then after putting up the lighted candles, it was followed by individual prayers by each of the member of my family.

      The essence of the day for the souls is purely having solemn prayers for the loved ones who parted away from us already. I can say it is also a form of a reunion to those who passed away and the ones who remained, once a year because we do not often visit cemeteries.  All the candles lighted forming a huge fire at the big cross made me realize that everyone there in the cemetery as they lit a candle indicates that we never forget. In our lives we undergo some bitter circumstances, the scar is still there but the pain left, although we never forget someone who was once there for us. So as a form of gratitude we remember and visit, put candles and beautiful fresh flowers and then pray for them for wherever they are.